Friday, July 31, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Realizing that he was paid by the hour and not by the dog, the officer phones in to say that Marmaduke got away. mj

An animal control office has managed to place a butterfly net over Marmaduke's head. It appears that a great battle had ensued prior to this, in which the animal control officer has had his legs broken and Marmaduke has lost both of his eyes. Marmaduke's loss of sight may explain his being motionless at the moment.

Although the officer is crediting with claiming to have captured Marmaduke, such a claim would only become reality once Marmaduke were in the small Animal Control van - a scenario which is highly unlikely to happen. It would be more feasible to believe that the officer is calling 911 to have his injuries treated..

One Year Ago (31 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Seeing Phil preoccupied with watching men on the TV, Dottie encourages Marmaduke to the bedroom.

Thursday, July 30, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

"Yeah, Mommy said what he'll do if you stop, but I don't know what 'sodomize' means."

Marmaduke has shown a romantic interest in Dottie's guest. Knowing that all attempts to dissuade the dog are futile until he's sated, Dottie remains hidden in the kitchen, sending an innocent child in to entertain the terrified guest. With Marmaduke's reputation, it's a wonder that anyone still visits the Winslow household.

The current guest's gender is unknown, but Marmaduke doesn't seem to care.

One Year Ago (30 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Taking his frustrations from home out at work, the guard refuses to allow little Billy to use the restroom.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Phil begins to think that putting super glue on Marmaduke's leash wasn't really a good practical joke.

Although Marmaduke normally roams free through the town, at times the Winslows feel compelled to attach a leash to him. Usually they only do this when the dog is at his most energetic. The end result is that the holder of the leash returns home more dead than alive after being dragged across the countryside. The only humor is that the dog's owner is too stupid to let go of the leash. Most times Phil is the stupid one, but on this occasion Dottie has shown that she can be equally lacking in keenness of mind.

Brad Davidson has decided to update this worn out joke by adding a "fancy, new" retractable leash in this comic, over 30 years after it was first invented.

One Year Ago (29 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Phil happily announces that he's learned to control Marmaduke by attaching the leash to the dog's testicles.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke believes that if Dottie remains that way much longer, he may not be able to control his primal urges.

Dottie is bent over in a walk-in closet, placing a bag of garbage next to a vacuum cleaner. She's saying that it's the only safe place to hide something from "him." Who "him" is isn't specified, but Phil's face seems to express more fear of the vacuum than Marmaduke's.

Marmaduke on the other hand, seems aroused by the sight of Dottie's ass, reinforcing my assumption that the dog and his mistress have an illicit affair going on when Phil's not at home (or maybe when he is at home too).

The question here is, why do the Winslows keep their cleaning supplies in their bedroom walk-in closet?

One Year Ago (28 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

"No, I've never heard of them doing that with dogs - just little boys."

Monday, July 27, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke subtly shows the child her fate should she refuse to surrender her ice cream.

Marmaduke has regurgitated a human femur bone in Barbie's lap. Breathing his hot breath in her face from his tyrannosaurus sized mouth, he is now slobbering on her foot. Nonetheless the girl courageously maintains her composure and keeps control of her ice cream cone.

While Barbie's actions may seem commendable, she is only moments from losing the cone along with most of her right forearm. The next thing Marmaduke regurgitates may be a small radius and ulna bone.

Sunday, July 26, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

For once this comic starts out funny. In the first two panels we see that Marmaduke is pissed at his owners so he takes a dump in their little red wagon. Had the comic ended here I may have actually smiled. Unfortunately though, it drags on.

Marmaduke's obese and elderly neighbor wants to know why Marmaduke is barking. His physique would indicate that he probably has heart problems and the dog's ruckus is causing him stress. A large pig who I assume to be the man's wife, volunteers to go find out. Returning, she claims that the Winslows have banished Marmaduke to the yard for chewing on the remote and eating a roast beef dinner, among other things. Her sympathy for Marmaduke indicates that she learned this from the dog himself, and not from the Winslows. In the end she announces that Marmaduke is so angry that he's coming to live with them. To confirm this, we see Marmaduke pulling his doghouse on the little red wagon that he had defecated in.

Throughout the strip, Marmaduke never once utters a word of English, his only sounds being woof and whuf, with a solitary wuf thrown it. We are left wondering how this woman was able to understand this woofing and whuffing. Also unexplained is how Marmaduke was able to put his house on the little red wagon.

As the only one in the whole strip with enough body strength to life the house is the pig-woman, we are led to the conclusion that she has fabricated the whole story and, placing Marmaduke's house on the wagon, has enticed the dog to their house with the promise of more remotes. Had this strip continued for one more panel, we would probably see the old man on the floor in cardiac arrest, and the woman happily reading his life insurance policy.

One Year Ago (26 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Seeing a pig in a dress bending over his lawn chair, the old man swears off liquor forever.

Saturday, July 25, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Dottie and Phil are shocked to learn that Marmaduke's left rear leg is growing from his ass.

High Definition Television appears to give Marmaduke seizures. Either that or Dottie has just waxed the floor. Or maybe the Winslows forgot to lock the liquor cabinet.

Whatever the reason for Marmaduke's lack of motor skills, the dog shaking its ass in Phil's face has got him aroused and he's suggesting that they switch to Animal Planet in hopes of catching the mating special. Dottie seems more concerned by the fact that someone has tied one of the dog's legs in a knot.

A secret message can be sen on Marmaduke's collar

One Year Ago (25 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

His unemployment benefits at an end, Phil has begun eating his clothes.

Friday, July 24, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Dottie tries to suffocate Marmaduke with a bag of food made from barf.

Once again Marmaduke is forced to eat "Barfoo" dog food. This could explain the abnormal physical development of the beast.

Here Dottie is complaining that Marmaduke won't let her pour the food in a bowl. Marmaduke however, is the more intelligent of the two here. Knowing that he'll most likely barf from his Barfoo, he already has his head in the combination dog food / barf bag.

One Year Ago (24 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

This comic is so stupid it didn't deserve to be captioned in the first place, let alone recaptioned. The average dog can run at about 19 mph while the maximum speed for most Segway models is only 12.5 mph. The best I can come up with for this abomination is:

At a loss as to how he can include a Segway in his comic, Brad Davidson draws two butterfly collectors chasing a maniacally grinning Marmaduke.

Thursday, July 23, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

The old woman was shocked to see that the dog had drunk the poisonous concoction she had prepared for her husband.

Marmaduke is pretending to sleep under the lawn chair, waiting for just the right moment to strike. The Winslow's fat, old neighbor is too drunk on Long Island Iced Teas to understand that when the dog stands up, he'll go flying over the fence along with his lawn chair. His wife (who apparently buys her dresses at the same store as Dottie) looks torn between telling him or siting down and waiting for the action to begin.

Too bad this is only a one-strip comic. It's the only Marmaduke in a long time that has had any potential for humor.

One Year Ago (23 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Little did Barbie know that she had solved the mystery of the missing "Barfoo Dog Food" worker.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Doubtful that a nose could be so large, Marmaduke decides to view it from another angle.

Marmaduke appears to be melting and toppling over onto an ugly woman who is about to clobber him with a plate of food. Dottie, under the misconception that Marmaduke is begging, is ordering him to stop. She should know that something is terribly wrong here as Marmaduke would normally just take the food without ever giving begging a thought. Perhaps this is what Dottie had hoped for as this would most likely cause the ugly woman to relinquish the couch.

Behind Dottie is a portal to a strange alien landscape.

One Year Ago (22 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke quickly devours the visiting gnome before Phil can break out the photo album.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

To keep the dog out of trouble, Phil encourages Marmaduke to take up sports.

Having apparently ransacked a Sporting Goods Store, Marmaduke seems quite pleased with himself. Phil is surveying the scene and telling his neighbor that Marmaduke is a four-letter dog. Most people in the town have some four-letter words for Marmaduke, and probably some stronger words for Phil.

As always, Phil does nothing to discipline the dog. He seems to expect everyone to forgive Marmaduke for any and all of his transgressions, simply because Marmaduke is a dog and doesn't know any better. Despite having the strength of three horses, Marmaduke supposedly has the innocent mind of a child. Above we see Marmaduke smiling happily, surrounded by his ill-gotten goods, while Phil, always the victim, looks helplessly on, unwilling and unable to take corrective action.

But things are not always as they seem. Note the bowling ball between Phil and the dog. It would be quite difficult for even a large dog to transport a bowling ball. This would indicate that Marmaduke may have had human assistance.

My guess is that Phil is a kleptomaniac. It is he that has stolen all of the sporting equipment, as well as the other articles that appear around the Winslow yard from time to time. Knowing that Marmaduke has a bad reputation, Phil frames the dog hoping that Marmaduke's inability to reason will get him off the hook each time. Should he get caught, Phil says the dog did it, and returns the merchandise. Should he not get caught, he simply gathers up the articles and stores them in his house. I think the police would hit the jackpot should they search Phil's basement.

Summary: Phil's an ass.