Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Having eaten Phil, Marmaduke assumes his identity.

Marmaduke has worked hard in disguising himself as an average four-legged American teenager without pants. The ice cream clerk however is far too clever and quickly sees through the disguise. Later that evening he'll be fired for turning away the only customer the store had had all week.

One Year Ago (25 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke has marked the TV as his territory.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Unwilling to contemplate their blonde hair when his and Dottie's hair is dark, Phil refuses to look at the children.

Marmaduke appears set to perform an immoral act on an alien creature. Phil will later be remembered as the idiot who slept through his chance to avert an interplanetary war.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sunday, August 23, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke is seated in a wagon, imitating a lighthouse with light spilling from his head in all directions. The Winslow's fat and elderly neighbors come upon the dog, and for no logical reason, the female with the face of a sow believes that Marmaduke wishes to go for a ride.

Continuing with his lighthouse imitation, Marmaduke reacts with fear when the sow-woman suggests to her morbidly obese husband that they give him a push. The dog's fear is probably caused by the fact that he is precariously balanced in the wagon, with his large Great Dane ass hanging out the back. Marmaduke is put as ease however, by the obese male steadying him as his wife begins to pull the wagon.

Summoning all of her strength, the woman pulls the wagon like a Clydesdale on speed. His lighthouse beacon now extinguished, Marmaduke nonetheless is experiencing great pleasure as the obese man massages his ass during the journey. With an inexplicable "zoom" sound, the trio passes six begging dogs on the side of the road.

In the final panel, the man and woman are seated in chairs looking at the group of dogs who have now gathered around Marmaduke in his wagon. Although not a single dog is in the wagon except for Marmaduke, the obese man seems to think that they all want a ride. The woman comments on the cuteness of it all.

And despite the total lack of humor, they all lived happily ever after.
The End.

One Year Ago (23 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke shows Phil his imitation of a steam shovel.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Her sibling rivalry knowing no bounds, Barbie has spiked Billy's soup with sulfuric acid.

Barbie has apparently spiked Billy's soup with sulfuric acid, for after one spoonful the boy appears to be dissolving. With an evil grin, Barbie watches the boy suffer, flailing his hand helplessly. She even makes a snide remark that if his soup is too hot, Marmaduke can pant on it.

In the background, what appears to be the ghost of Marmaduke is floating silently through the door, the phantom dog's tongue lolling lifelessly. It can therefore be presumed that the girl has gone on a murderous rampage, killing the dog as well.

One Year Ago (22 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Failing to recognize Marmaduke's organizational skills, Dottie makes a weak attempt at humor.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke tries unsuccessfully to carry a pink water balloon to the house.

Phil has apparently added a steeple to Marmaduke's house, possibly in an attempt to evade property taxes. For this transgression, some sort of heavenly being appears to be calling down divine retribution on the Winslow yard which has scared the hell out of Marmaduke. Slobbering, the dog pleads with his eyes to be let into the house. Phil pretends not to know what's going on, and babbles something nonsensical about an air conditioner.

In the yard we see the skeletal renains of a small mammal.

One Year Ago (21 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

"Big stupid human. Small stupid human. Big stupid human. Small stupid human."

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thursday, August 20, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Silently, Marmaduke undressed the old man with his eyes.

Once again Marmaduke tries in vain to figure out what the strange growth is on the neighbor's face where his nose should be. Once again, the neighbor is intoxicated and has convinced himself that Marmaduke is merely engaging him in a staring contest. Both Marmaduke and the old man need to get lives.

One Year Ago (20 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke has been immobilized by a ridiculously tight sweater.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

In a desperate attempt to get attention, Marmaduke crashes through the television.

Marmaduke is seen from behind, bursting through the Winslow's TV while holding what could be a dog bowl or the wheel of some vehicle. Phil and Dottie are immobilized with fear. More so Phil, whose fingers seem to be stricken with arthritis.

Dottie blathers that it must be dinner time already. If Marmaduke is holding a bowl, this would mean he wants to be fed. If he is holding a wheel, this would mean that he's eaten a vehicle and will now proceed to consume Phil and Dottie.

One Year Ago (19 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke suffers from indigestion after devouring a party of beachgoers.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Scooby snack?

Marmaduke appears to be hanging on to a small airplane, eyeing a young woman seductively. The man, despite being at the controls, is telling the woman to get him out of there. This seems like an open invitation for the woman to push him out the door.

Really, little more can be said of this sad comic. This looks like another case of Brad Anderson wishing to incorporate some new gadget that he's just learned about (in this case, a Global Positioning System) into his cartoon without knowing how.

One Year Ago (18 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Billy practices for a future career with the Mafia.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Monday, August 17, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Having finally learned what gained his owner's approval, Marmaduke would now set off to devour Phil's wallet.

Phil shows Marmaduke affection after the dog chews up Dottie's credit cards. Phil does not realize that the cards can be replaced. Nor does Phil realize that he has now encouraged Marmaduke to chew up everything in the house.

Summary: Phil's an ass.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Sunday, August 16, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

On Marmaduke's cue, the Winslow family emerges from the house dressed in fine attire. For no other purpose than to benefit the reader, they state that every Sunday they dress up and go to a relative's home for a "bone-in-roast" dinner. Then they express their dismay that, despite the frequency of this event, Marmaduke is able to associate the dressing up with a bone for him.

In the car, Phil makes Dottie ride in the back so Marmaduke can ride next to him, exposing himself to oncoming traffic. Dottie asks when she can ride in the front, apparently in hopes of exposing herself as well. Phil replies that only when they get a sunroof in the back, which is probably the same as saying "when pigs fly." Phil obviously enjoys riding in close proximity to a large dog's private parts.

One Year Ago (16 August 2009) Marmaduke Recaptioned

The Winslows must have been involved in a war, for Dottie is talking to a veteran who wants combat pay.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

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Saturday, August 15, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Years of reading detective novels pay off for Dottie as she is finally able to solve the mystery of the missing food.

Dottie presents Marmaduke with a plate of cookies and accuses him of having indulged as he has barbecue sauce on his whiskers. Most likely, whatever Marmaduke did eat that contained barbecue sauce, he didn't care for as he didn't lick his chops afterward as most dogs do. Marmaduke appears to be thinking, "God, what a bitch! How the hell does Phil put up with her?"

In something unrelated, Marmaduke appears to be seated on a large, green ball.

One Year Ago (15 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Always looking for new ways to show disrespect, Marmaduke vomits on Phil's potato chips.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Friday, August 14, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Having used the ridiculously short leash today, Phil strives to stay in front of Marmaduke.

Marmaduke seems to have taken an interest in some saunas, probably because in the window they resemble open refrigerators. Phil thinks that the dog wants him to buy one for baths, and in an attempt to show some authority, he is denying the request.

What's interesting is that, despite Phil usually being dragged unwillingly behind the dog when they go on walks, here Phil believes that he has the power to pull Marmaduke. In reality Phil is fortunate that Marmaduke has no desire to take the lead today. With the shortness of the lease, should Phil fall behind he would run the risk of having his head up Marmaduke's ass.

One Year Ago (14 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke waits until his bladder's full before pissing on Phil's new shoes.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

"Mom, you lied! There was a monster under my bed!"

Barbie appears to be bedridden with a foot deformity. She has tried to take her mind from her Pepto-Bismol colored sheets and her missing blanket by reading a book entitled "Good Puppy." Unfortunately the little girl's plight has only worsened with the appearance of Marmaduke, who pins the child's left leg to the bed while gazing at the book with a look which suggests that the dog is rabid.

However, the greatest horror of all lies atop the dresser, in the form of a semi-melted rabbit.

One Year Ago (13 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Phil falls victim to the "Dog Biscuit in a Pizza Box" Scam.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Enjoying the entertainment, the neighbor hoped that Phil would never realize that he could simply let go.

Marmaduke appears to be imitating a rabbit, leaping down the sidewalk with his hind legs coming down ahead of and on the outside of his front legs. Such a gait appears to have increased his deformity, for his chest is at a much lower level than his stomach, yet the top of his head is at a higher elevation than his back.

Nonetheless the dog seems to have been able to achieve great speed, and as is often the case, Phil is being dragged behind, obstinately refusing to release the leash. Phil is whining to his neighbor that his shoes have melted, oblivious to the fact that someone has buried the neighbor up to his waist in the barren yard.

One Year Ago (12 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Dottie wonders how to get the smell of dog ass from linoleum.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

"Maybe you're right Dottie. Maybe I should start using mouthwash."

For reasons unknown, Marmaduke has collapsed with his upper half in Phil's lap. What is interesting is, not that the dog has pinned Phil to his chair, but why Phil took no steps to prevent it when he saw it coming. Also interesting is, where are Phil's hands?

In any event, Phil cannot move and he's too weak to move the dog, or too cowardly to try. Helpless, he calls out for someone to turn on the can opener. What effect this would have is unknown, for Marmaduke has always been fed from large bags of "Barfoo" Dog Food, not cans. Maybe Phil just wants to hear something else whining besides himself.

One Year Ago (11 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke doesn't understand why Barbie blames him for her friends' poor spelling habits.