Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Having eaten Phil, Marmaduke assumes his identity.

Marmaduke has worked hard in disguising himself as an average four-legged American teenager without pants. The ice cream clerk however is far too clever and quickly sees through the disguise. Later that evening he'll be fired for turning away the only customer the store had had all week.

One Year Ago (25 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke has marked the TV as his territory.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Unwilling to contemplate their blonde hair when his and Dottie's hair is dark, Phil refuses to look at the children.

Marmaduke appears set to perform an immoral act on an alien creature. Phil will later be remembered as the idiot who slept through his chance to avert an interplanetary war.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sunday, August 23, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke is seated in a wagon, imitating a lighthouse with light spilling from his head in all directions. The Winslow's fat and elderly neighbors come upon the dog, and for no logical reason, the female with the face of a sow believes that Marmaduke wishes to go for a ride.

Continuing with his lighthouse imitation, Marmaduke reacts with fear when the sow-woman suggests to her morbidly obese husband that they give him a push. The dog's fear is probably caused by the fact that he is precariously balanced in the wagon, with his large Great Dane ass hanging out the back. Marmaduke is put as ease however, by the obese male steadying him as his wife begins to pull the wagon.

Summoning all of her strength, the woman pulls the wagon like a Clydesdale on speed. His lighthouse beacon now extinguished, Marmaduke nonetheless is experiencing great pleasure as the obese man massages his ass during the journey. With an inexplicable "zoom" sound, the trio passes six begging dogs on the side of the road.

In the final panel, the man and woman are seated in chairs looking at the group of dogs who have now gathered around Marmaduke in his wagon. Although not a single dog is in the wagon except for Marmaduke, the obese man seems to think that they all want a ride. The woman comments on the cuteness of it all.

And despite the total lack of humor, they all lived happily ever after.
The End.

One Year Ago (23 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke shows Phil his imitation of a steam shovel.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Her sibling rivalry knowing no bounds, Barbie has spiked Billy's soup with sulfuric acid.

Barbie has apparently spiked Billy's soup with sulfuric acid, for after one spoonful the boy appears to be dissolving. With an evil grin, Barbie watches the boy suffer, flailing his hand helplessly. She even makes a snide remark that if his soup is too hot, Marmaduke can pant on it.

In the background, what appears to be the ghost of Marmaduke is floating silently through the door, the phantom dog's tongue lolling lifelessly. It can therefore be presumed that the girl has gone on a murderous rampage, killing the dog as well.

One Year Ago (22 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Failing to recognize Marmaduke's organizational skills, Dottie makes a weak attempt at humor.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke tries unsuccessfully to carry a pink water balloon to the house.

Phil has apparently added a steeple to Marmaduke's house, possibly in an attempt to evade property taxes. For this transgression, some sort of heavenly being appears to be calling down divine retribution on the Winslow yard which has scared the hell out of Marmaduke. Slobbering, the dog pleads with his eyes to be let into the house. Phil pretends not to know what's going on, and babbles something nonsensical about an air conditioner.

In the yard we see the skeletal renains of a small mammal.

One Year Ago (21 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

"Big stupid human. Small stupid human. Big stupid human. Small stupid human."

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thursday, August 20, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Silently, Marmaduke undressed the old man with his eyes.

Once again Marmaduke tries in vain to figure out what the strange growth is on the neighbor's face where his nose should be. Once again, the neighbor is intoxicated and has convinced himself that Marmaduke is merely engaging him in a staring contest. Both Marmaduke and the old man need to get lives.

One Year Ago (20 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke has been immobilized by a ridiculously tight sweater.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

In a desperate attempt to get attention, Marmaduke crashes through the television.

Marmaduke is seen from behind, bursting through the Winslow's TV while holding what could be a dog bowl or the wheel of some vehicle. Phil and Dottie are immobilized with fear. More so Phil, whose fingers seem to be stricken with arthritis.

Dottie blathers that it must be dinner time already. If Marmaduke is holding a bowl, this would mean he wants to be fed. If he is holding a wheel, this would mean that he's eaten a vehicle and will now proceed to consume Phil and Dottie.

One Year Ago (19 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke suffers from indigestion after devouring a party of beachgoers.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Scooby snack?

Marmaduke appears to be hanging on to a small airplane, eyeing a young woman seductively. The man, despite being at the controls, is telling the woman to get him out of there. This seems like an open invitation for the woman to push him out the door.

Really, little more can be said of this sad comic. This looks like another case of Brad Anderson wishing to incorporate some new gadget that he's just learned about (in this case, a Global Positioning System) into his cartoon without knowing how.

One Year Ago (18 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Billy practices for a future career with the Mafia.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Monday, August 17, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Having finally learned what gained his owner's approval, Marmaduke would now set off to devour Phil's wallet.

Phil shows Marmaduke affection after the dog chews up Dottie's credit cards. Phil does not realize that the cards can be replaced. Nor does Phil realize that he has now encouraged Marmaduke to chew up everything in the house.

Summary: Phil's an ass.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Sunday, August 16, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

On Marmaduke's cue, the Winslow family emerges from the house dressed in fine attire. For no other purpose than to benefit the reader, they state that every Sunday they dress up and go to a relative's home for a "bone-in-roast" dinner. Then they express their dismay that, despite the frequency of this event, Marmaduke is able to associate the dressing up with a bone for him.

In the car, Phil makes Dottie ride in the back so Marmaduke can ride next to him, exposing himself to oncoming traffic. Dottie asks when she can ride in the front, apparently in hopes of exposing herself as well. Phil replies that only when they get a sunroof in the back, which is probably the same as saying "when pigs fly." Phil obviously enjoys riding in close proximity to a large dog's private parts.

One Year Ago (16 August 2009) Marmaduke Recaptioned

The Winslows must have been involved in a war, for Dottie is talking to a veteran who wants combat pay.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Hilarious Headlines

Check out some Hilarious Headlines and other hilarious things at this site.

Saturday, August 15, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Years of reading detective novels pay off for Dottie as she is finally able to solve the mystery of the missing food.

Dottie presents Marmaduke with a plate of cookies and accuses him of having indulged as he has barbecue sauce on his whiskers. Most likely, whatever Marmaduke did eat that contained barbecue sauce, he didn't care for as he didn't lick his chops afterward as most dogs do. Marmaduke appears to be thinking, "God, what a bitch! How the hell does Phil put up with her?"

In something unrelated, Marmaduke appears to be seated on a large, green ball.

One Year Ago (15 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Always looking for new ways to show disrespect, Marmaduke vomits on Phil's potato chips.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Friday, August 14, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Having used the ridiculously short leash today, Phil strives to stay in front of Marmaduke.

Marmaduke seems to have taken an interest in some saunas, probably because in the window they resemble open refrigerators. Phil thinks that the dog wants him to buy one for baths, and in an attempt to show some authority, he is denying the request.

What's interesting is that, despite Phil usually being dragged unwillingly behind the dog when they go on walks, here Phil believes that he has the power to pull Marmaduke. In reality Phil is fortunate that Marmaduke has no desire to take the lead today. With the shortness of the lease, should Phil fall behind he would run the risk of having his head up Marmaduke's ass.

One Year Ago (14 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke waits until his bladder's full before pissing on Phil's new shoes.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

"Mom, you lied! There was a monster under my bed!"

Barbie appears to be bedridden with a foot deformity. She has tried to take her mind from her Pepto-Bismol colored sheets and her missing blanket by reading a book entitled "Good Puppy." Unfortunately the little girl's plight has only worsened with the appearance of Marmaduke, who pins the child's left leg to the bed while gazing at the book with a look which suggests that the dog is rabid.

However, the greatest horror of all lies atop the dresser, in the form of a semi-melted rabbit.

One Year Ago (13 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Phil falls victim to the "Dog Biscuit in a Pizza Box" Scam.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Enjoying the entertainment, the neighbor hoped that Phil would never realize that he could simply let go.

Marmaduke appears to be imitating a rabbit, leaping down the sidewalk with his hind legs coming down ahead of and on the outside of his front legs. Such a gait appears to have increased his deformity, for his chest is at a much lower level than his stomach, yet the top of his head is at a higher elevation than his back.

Nonetheless the dog seems to have been able to achieve great speed, and as is often the case, Phil is being dragged behind, obstinately refusing to release the leash. Phil is whining to his neighbor that his shoes have melted, oblivious to the fact that someone has buried the neighbor up to his waist in the barren yard.

One Year Ago (12 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Dottie wonders how to get the smell of dog ass from linoleum.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

"Maybe you're right Dottie. Maybe I should start using mouthwash."

For reasons unknown, Marmaduke has collapsed with his upper half in Phil's lap. What is interesting is, not that the dog has pinned Phil to his chair, but why Phil took no steps to prevent it when he saw it coming. Also interesting is, where are Phil's hands?

In any event, Phil cannot move and he's too weak to move the dog, or too cowardly to try. Helpless, he calls out for someone to turn on the can opener. What effect this would have is unknown, for Marmaduke has always been fed from large bags of "Barfoo" Dog Food, not cans. Maybe Phil just wants to hear something else whining besides himself.

One Year Ago (11 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke doesn't understand why Barbie blames him for her friends' poor spelling habits.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Monday, August 10, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

"Oh no, I'm not getting sodomized again! If you want him off the bed, you get him off."

Phil knows that Marmaduke is infesting his bed with fleas, yet his cowardly nature prevents him from taking action. Suddenly he sees Dottie approaching, and wanting to pretend that he's a man, Phil boasts about a make-believe victory in which he forbade Marmaduke from sleeping in his chair.

Dottie is not fooled. She knows that Phil is a pansy, and that Marmaduke only allows him to remain alive for entertainment purposes.

Note: The bedroom decor was chosen by Marmaduke as he sees more action there than Phil.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Sunday, August 9, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

A small entourage of dogs arrive at Marmaduke home, apparently with concerns to voice. Although their complaints are never made clear, it can be assumed that it's along the lines of Marmaduke fouling other yards. With a look of fear on his face, Marmaduke quickly mounts his doghouse while the dogs holler up at him from below. Seeing that he is out of reach, Marmaduke does a ridiculous dance.

Eventually Marmaduke grows weary, and wishing the dogs to depart, he plays dead, attempting to balance his misshapen carcass on the peak of his doghouse roof. The other dogs, not being as stupid as Marmaduke had hoped, await the inevitable. Eventually it comes. Marmaduke rolls off of the roof, suffering multiple injuries. Satisfied that he won't be gallivanting around soiling other yards for a while, the others happily depart.

The End.

One Year Ago (9 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Dottie is unsure how to compete with the competition.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Saturday, August 8, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Plotting a double murder, Marmaduke comes prepared to cordon off the scene.

Marmaduke has come into possession of some "crime scene" tape. Perhaps the police threw a roll of the tape at him, or perhaps Marmaduke has simply walked through a crime scene. If the joke is supposed to be that Marmaduke has committed a crime, it's lost, as the police do not tape the perpetrator.

Since Marmaduke still has some tape on his chest, held in place only by the dog's forward motion, it's likely that the crime scene is nearby. Maybe Dottie, after decades of living with Phil, has finally committed suicide.

One Year Ago (8 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Fearing that her affair with Marmaduke was finally uncovered, Dottie is saved by Phil's stupidity.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Friday, August 7, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Fed up with incompetence, Marmaduke takes steps to ensure his Happy Meal toy won't be forgotten.

Marmaduke is standing on Phil's crotch with his head in the "pay" window of a drive-through fast-food restaurant. Phil is telling Marmaduke that it's the wrong window - that the food is at the next window. This leads us to believe that Phil condones Marmaduke's behavior, provided that he gets his windows straight.

Apparently Phil believes that it's better to have a hyper, 260 pound dog standing on his crotch than to have to clean up the mess that Marmaduke would make if he ate in the car. We can only guess at the reaction of the restaurant staff.

One Year Ago (7 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

A group of undisciplined hooligans disrupt Marmaduke's friendly game of catch by breaking his legs.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Thursday, August 6, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke has fallen asleep due to the boredom of this comic.

The boy in the purple shirt apparently thinks that, since "chow" means "to eat," that only Chow dogs eat. No doubt this child was left behind by the No Child Left Behind Act of the American Education System.

Billy seems to be making some money on the side with an endorsement for "Barfoo" Dog Food.

One Year Ago (6 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Turned on by Marmaduke's new look, Dottie blatantly lies to the strangely shaped bald man.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Wednesday, August 5, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Billy tries to conceal the fact that Marmaduke has eaten an entire floor lamp, except for the shade.

Marmaduke is utilizing the cartoon rule which says that only a head cover is necessary to form the perfect disguise. In the Looney Tunes, a rabbit put on a wig and human men fell in love with him. In Hannah Barbera Cartoons, an animal would don a policeman's hat and everyone would afford him all the respect due a law enforcement officer. Therefore it only stands to reason that if Marmaduke wore a lamp shade on his head, everyone would think he's a lamp. Unfortunately Dottie has been overstressed and refuses to play along.

The question here is, what happened to the lamp?

One Year Ago (5 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Phil begins to get suspicious of Dottie's weak excuses for Marmaduke's exhaustion every day when he returns from work.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Tuesday, August 4, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

After a lifelong diet of "Barfoo" dog food, Marmaduke finally rebels.

The children react in utter horror at Marmaduke's etiquette as the dog uses a used tire as dental floss. The boy in red seems exceptionally terrified, and so it could be assumed that Marmaduke has failed to wash behind his ears as well.

One Year Ago (4 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Marmaduke tries in vain to say that Publishers Clearing House is at the front door with a check for $10,000,000.00.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Monday, August 3, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke charms Phil with his "Get out of the f***ing chair before I dismember you," look.

Phil seems on the verge of tears at having done something to upset Marmaduke. If Marmaduke had wanted the chair earlier, it's unlikely that he'll want it now as Phil appears to have soiled it. All in all though, Phil should consider himself lucky that Marmaduke allows him to remain in the house with him, Dottie and the kids.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Sunday, August 2, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Having drugged Marmaduke, the little girls abuse him by dressing him up on a hot summer day. Knowing that the girls are committing countless Fashion Faux Pas, Marmaduke hides his head in shame.

The girls then drag Marmaduke through the streets in a small wagon, like a convicted felon of the Middle Ages. On his journey he is taunted by both man and beast. Finally he can take no more, and with a mighty roar he springs from his mode of conveyance. In a panel when was censored due to violence, Marmaduke kills every living creature in the surrounding 2 blocks. In the last panel we see that he is hiding from the police under the Winslow's bed.

The humor here appaently lies in the fact that Marmaduke can't fit under the bed.

One Year Ago (2 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

An alien creature swoops in and abducts a child.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Saturday, August 1, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Marmaduke is horrified at the strange growth where the man's nose should be.

Marmaduke appears to be pleading with the misshapen man to remove the lampshade from his back. Unwilling to admit that his fat ass is stuck in the small chair, the man babbles something about Marmaduke's staring abilities.

One Year Ago (1 August 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

His patience exhausted, Phil kills Marmaduke and has him stuffed.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday, July 31, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

Realizing that he was paid by the hour and not by the dog, the officer phones in to say that Marmaduke got away. mj

An animal control office has managed to place a butterfly net over Marmaduke's head. It appears that a great battle had ensued prior to this, in which the animal control officer has had his legs broken and Marmaduke has lost both of his eyes. Marmaduke's loss of sight may explain his being motionless at the moment.

Although the officer is crediting with claiming to have captured Marmaduke, such a claim would only become reality once Marmaduke were in the small Animal Control van - a scenario which is highly unlikely to happen. It would be more feasible to believe that the officer is calling 911 to have his injuries treated..

One Year Ago (31 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Seeing Phil preoccupied with watching men on the TV, Dottie encourages Marmaduke to the bedroom.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thursday, July 30, 2009 Marmaduke Analyzed

"Yeah, Mommy said what he'll do if you stop, but I don't know what 'sodomize' means."

Marmaduke has shown a romantic interest in Dottie's guest. Knowing that all attempts to dissuade the dog are futile until he's sated, Dottie remains hidden in the kitchen, sending an innocent child in to entertain the terrified guest. With Marmaduke's reputation, it's a wonder that anyone still visits the Winslow household.

The current guest's gender is unknown, but Marmaduke doesn't seem to care.

One Year Ago (30 July 2008) Marmaduke Recaptioned

Taking his frustrations from home out at work, the guard refuses to allow little Billy to use the restroom.